Sunday, May 12, 2013

So. The dream is dead.
    I was going to make a vlog, but even writing this, I'm getting brought to tears so I'm just going to keep it in text so I don't get made fun of. Fat guy crying is usually always funny.

    Back even when I was in fighting games, not even making much money. My brother told me "Live your dream, do whatever you want. But at the end of the day, if it makes you happy, I'll support it." I've ALWAYS looked up to my brother. You could say that in my eyes, he's my hero. My parents were always busy working trying to provide a life, and my brother would not go to the University he wanted to, to stay home, go to a local university and take care of me. He's always been the one I wanted to make proud because he sacrificed so much for me. He's been the one guy who drives me to try to be successful in eSports because it's my dream to be. I always believed that one day video games would blow up as it did in the LCS. So this is where the story begins.

    When I made Team MRN, people actually don't know I made it off of gambling and winning a huge amount of money a long time ago and sponsoring a guy named "Wolfkrone". It had it's ups and downs, and to be quite honest, I lost a lot of it gambling even more so it sucked and he left the team. And as funny as it sounds, Team MRN consisted of just.. Marn for awhile.

    I had been friends with ClakeyD for awhile and I always feel I see a lot of potential in players. Yeah, everyone will hate on his jungle but to be honest, he's never liked jungling in the first place. It's something I forced him to so I could also help him live his dream. Playing video games for a living. At first, I was on the team, then I kicked myself off the team because I was bad. Truthfully, I would rather sit on the sidelines now after playing fighting games for over 12 years. And so blah blah Cinderella story. We made it in.
    It's been a fantastic three months with my team. We've had our ups, and a lot of downs actually. We fought a lot, we roster changed Nientonsoh in and took out AtomicN. But Atomic still lives with us and we are all still friends. Except Atomic and Heartbeat. That shit is mad awkward. We've practiced almost every day for 8 hours. We've watched anime together. Drank together. And just did stuff that genuinely made all of us happy, while being provided a life by Riot.

    But in the end, all of it didn't matter. We all knew we were going to break up Team MRN if we lost and we practiced so hard to NOT lose. We planned everything out, played a lot, practiced a lot, and in the end, we couldn't execute what we wanted. Why? As an LCS team, yes you get to play for 10 weeks against NA's best and you're going up against an amateur team. Should be easy right? In our eyes, it actually should've been. But what happened? We played like crap. We played like we were the same team at the beginning of the season. We played like our lives were on the line. Nervous, scared, let our opponents control the pace of the game. Yes, it is advantageous but it's also a disadvantage. LCS teams are playing with their lives and past three months on the line. Amateur teams I would imagine doesn't feel as much pressure as LCS teams.

    Yep, our record was shit. But the improvement that the whole team felt we had was just fantastic. Everyone thought everyone was getting better. Everyone said Clakey has gotten better than before. Everyone improved. But when I watched and Clakey got every objective out-smited... I never remember the last time in LCS he got outsmited. He's always been on point and I just couldn't believe it when I saw it. All of what happened just didn't make sense to me.

    So now, in the end, my dream is dead. So what next? Hopes for next season? Probably not. Because I feel like I had one of the best teams in the palm of my hand ready to go to World Finals. Yes, if the Lakers lose Kobe Bryant, they'll still find someone else. But I loved these guy more than anything and it sucks we have to part ways. MegaZero probably on the other side of this computer probably going why the fk is Marn crying but he doesn't know I'm typing this.

    I hope in the end, everyone gets back into the LCS, no matter what they have to do. MegaZero is just too good to pass up for any team. Nientonsoh is a god. Ecco/Clakey/Heartbeat/Atomic may not be up to par with reddit standards but I truly believe all of them are great players and this shouldn't have happened the way it did.

    I hope to come back stronger but right now, my drive is gone. I really just want to go into hiding. Because I feel like I just lost family. So the dream is dead. Team MRN is gone at least for now.

    It's not about quitting. It's the feelings I have that I disappointed my sponsor MadCatz, disappointed our fans, and worst of all, disappointed my brother. I've never had high hopes in my life so I wouldn't be disappointed... But in the end I disappointed everyone else.

   Before I end this, if anyone on my team reads this. Thanks for letting me live my dream, thanks for the good times, and thanks for just believing in what we could do even if we couldn't do it. I am grateful that you guys gave me this opportunity. It's definitely been a happy experience. But if someting starts, it has to end.

TLDR; Suck my fat. If you don't want to read it because it's too long, then what's the point. 


  1. Don't worry Marn. Everyone hits a bump in the road like you even quoted, the Lakers and several other professional sports teams but you are the leader of the team so what you say is best. Hope you find your drive back eventually and time will heal all this. You and your team provided excellent gaming that was refreshing and exciting to watch. You still have many fans out there.
    ~ Daflameking

  2. To be honest, i'm not the biggest fan of LCS so I don't watch as religiously as others, but I did enjoy your team. I don't know if the decision is final, but your team has a lot going for them already. If this is your dream, you shouldn't give up like this. Can't you try again next year, who says it's over now? Anyways, best of luck to you and all your team members.

  3. Striving for a dream is nothing to be sad about.

    "Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning."

    Don't give up. Team MRN is and shall be a great and well respected team.

  4. At least you lived your dream for a few months - that's more than a lot of teams can say. You guys were awesome - thanks for the season.

  5. Marn, Don't give up. Take some time to collect your thoughts and rebuild. the community needs people like you. Team Marn became one of my favorite teams and i will continue to follow all of it's former players.

    Hang in there and DON'T GIVE UP!

  6. Saddening to see, but best of luck in the future :-)!


  8. I grew to love MRN. Sad for me to see you guys are disbanding. You might not have made it to World Finals, but at least you took a game from CLG. ;)

  9. Dude, I absolutely loved Team MRN. I loved watching MegaZero and I loved watching you troll his stream. I am greatly disheartened to see this team go down in flames like this... It sucks really hard. I got a MRN shirt that isn't here yet and I don't know if I'll get refunded or get the shirt, but either way, I would still wear it to show support for what I saw as a great team.

    Shoutout to MegaZero, I loved how clean you are. I watch you stream all the time, you aren't a sailor like the rest of them, you're funny, you're enjoyable to watch, you're Riven is beast, and you have really fueled a fire in me to enjoy League as much as I do.

    Thanks so much Team MRN,

  10. zzz bro you cant quit you can still try. Gather willing and new players willing to reform marn and try again. If you can make into the lcs then you can make it again. Your team needed better communication and reforming the team you could open whole new doors!

  11. I got really hooked into LCS this year, your team was one of the reasons why. Never be ashamed of what you did of what your team did. They and you are pioneers in eSports keep up the dream Marn

  12. Nothing but respect for you and your former team. To be honest, at the beginning of LCS your team really didn't mean much to me, just another team for my favorite teams to stomp. But you guys proved me, and the rest of the community, that you definitely deserved to be there.

    I wish all of you the best of luck wherever you decide the go.

  13. Coming from a fighting games background myself and just getting into lol at the start of this season, watching team MRN play week after week was an inspiration, even if I got mad everytime someone would mess up, or ecco losing its lane badly.
    The first time I saw the team win was awesome. I think the players in the team could do a lot better than what showed yesterday,
    Good luck Mrn, I hope the team comes back into the scene.

  14. I wouldn't have gotten into League if my friend hadn't been watching LCS one weekend. After that weekend, I kept tuning into LCS just to watch Team MRN whether they destroyed or not. I haven't even been a fan for a long time but you and your team will always be my favorite. I love watching your teams' streams (and your own) and I love all your personalities. Even though your drive may be gone now, I hope it returns and I hope that you guys come back into the LCS.

    Never give up! You will always have fans that will still be with you. You can always hang out with us :) We won't force you to come to our school to talk either.
    But don't give up your dream Marn! Things happen. It can still go on! Have hope!

  15. I will always be a fan of Team MRN. The hype you brought to LoL eSports in general, even at MLG Anaheim long before LCS was a possibility was something that instantly made me a fan.

    There was nowhere near the amount of energy in any LoL match as there was in your inaugural main stage match against TSM in Anaheim. The crowd was going nuts, even though your team was hopelessly outmatched.

    Then LCS came. And it was announced that you'd picked up MegaZero -- a player I had loved to play with/against back in the days of LoL Beta. How could I not root for team MRN? You guys barely made the ladder cutoff... and made it to the promotion series.

    Then THE FUCKING BASE RACE versus a team that "was guaranteed to qualify"...intense and ballsy as fuck. All of the games Team MRN played were just full of so much intensity and were so fun to watch. Even without the shit talk and FGC community that made the Anaheim spectacle so fun to watch, your team was still managing to bring a level of energy to LoL's eSports scene that was just...not there outside of your matches.

    I will miss that, and I really hope you don't give up on your dream just yet.

  16. There's really nothing to be ashamed of. There's always the question whether you want at least to try to live your dreams or just follow the save path.

    As Wayne Gretzky and Michael Scott later said:
    "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

    Best of luck for your future. Your team was great regardless that they lost. Don't let these matches yesterday ruin your memories. :)

  17. My respect to anyone who has the balls to live his dream.
    You did what 99.9% of the guys playing can't do.
    You aren't in the summer split.. so what - fuck it.
    You are still one of the best Teams in NA and in the world.
    Keep your dreams up

  18. Hey Marn,

    Something that really struck with me while I read this was your drive to make your brother proud. I say this as someone who is in your brother's position (taking care of my little bro when no one else would, giving up a lot for him and such and such). He's spent most of his post-high school life trying to make me proud.

    What I want you to know is that it's not what awards you earn or championship you win or records that you set that make your brother proud--it's you. I can't speak for your brother, but I can safely say that when I see my brother doing the things he loves...when I see his heart and his spirit come out in something that makes him happy, I'm proud.

    That's exactly what you've shown me here. So I hope you don't feel like you failed your brother. You may have failed at re-entering the LCS, but that's a trifle in comparison. Keep your head up and keep your heart in it!

  19. Bro, just talk with your brother, see him. He's not disappointed, you'll see.

  20. No tears Marn, no tears. You did a excellent job with the team. You took a team and set them up for a great future. I wish it would have been with MRN, but those guys are going on to bigger and better things and it's thanks to you. Thanks Marn, thanks for the memories.

    P.S. If you're ever around Arcadia, drop me a line and teach me to be pro.

  21. I think you shouldn't be so harsh on yourself. I don't really think you disapointed anybody, nor your brother, nor your players,... Not even your fans. I mean, I'm sad you guys are not there for the summer split but I'm not disappointed on your performance.

    Ok, sure. You guys didn't play as good as you could have but your asses were on the line and the pressure is there. You just had a bad day...

    At this point, I think you should look at Curse. At the end of season 2 they were devastated and they had the determination to come back on top and thinks worked out quite well for them in the end. I think you have an awsome roster that, with some practice, could be the winner in any tournament and one of the top teams in season 4...

  22. Bro. Don't worry it will be fine. Regi rage quit too when they got knocked out of the finals. He was devastated. But after a few weeks he gathered his thoughts and came back and now they are back stronger than ever. Granted TSM is probably close to a multimillion dollar company and have the funds and resources to bounce back a lot easier than MRN or some of the other noob teams. But Regi and TSM had a dream too and now look at them. #1 Team in NA.

    My point is, just take some time away and try to make a come back for Season 4.

  23. I know every other one of these messages say the same thing but its true, you can't let Team MRN just die because of the loss of one series.

    Team MRN was my reason for watching the LCS! You didn't disappoint anyone. I hope to see Team MRN in more tournaments.

    Chin up Marneto!

  24. You'll be back. The present always deliver the worst pain, and the past keeps us suffering. The future, however; brings us hope that keeps us going. You live and learn. Dreams can never die. Just need to piece it back together. Awesome seeing the team play this season. Don't give up bro.

  25. marn... youre my gaming idol because youre the one who didnt give up... because you already proved that you have it in you to be the best. I hope that you come back stronger, and able to do what you know youre able to. kick serious ass

  26. Marn.. I am amazed what did you do. mad respect. I love your team and don't give up

  27. Marn you have my respect. I think everyone has potential and sometimes things just don't click. Everyone tries their hardest and i dont think you guys failed. Winning can be everything and nothing at the same time. What's amazing is that you had a team that was part of LCS. I feel like a noob compared to everyone who is pro. I'm sure you'll come back around. Cheer up. =]

  28. If MRN does break up, I would hope that Mega and Nien get picked up. Mega is easily one of the best top laners in NA right now and Nien (as you said) is a God. MRN were a solid team and I agree, don't give up.

  29. You still have a lot of funs out there guys C:

  30. Don't give up man. Sports team are the greatest in overcoming adversity. This is just one bump and there will be plenty more disappointments in life. Give up on the first hurdle and that will define you for the rest of your life. The dream IS NOT OVER.

    Get back in there and show the world Team MRN will rise back again. Stronger. Better. Prove the doubters wrong.

    You have fans from across the world. I never got into eSports or the competitive scene until I saw you guys. And I'm just a 26yr old Brit in the UK cheering a group of 5 random americans who i never seen before in my life every week for the past few months. Come back for your fans at least. This will disappoint us even more to see Team MRN die.

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